June 2012
69 posts
“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.”
—Haruki Murakami (via ramblerambleramble)
“It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed is you.”
—F. Scott Fitzgerald (via gordftw)
It’s been almost a year, and I still have post-Potter depression.
I believe that there’s a reason certain people come into your life, especially those who stay for a bit and then leave.
And in the end, maybe you move on, or maybe they do. Maybe they just came to share in that momentary happiness, just temporarily. Maybe they came to help you with something and then they’ll leave when the task is done. Or maybe they came to teach you that lesson about loss, rejection and heartbreak.
People leave; they always do, at some point or another. You can’t really prevent it even if you hold on until you go numb. They’ll leave, and you’ll be stronger for it, even if it might not seem like it. Because you’d know what it feels like, and you’d know what to do.
You’ll see. You’ll be devastated but you’ll get up, because life does go on. You’ll heal. You’ll be wiser because of it.
But eventually, you’ll accept it, minimize your losses, and move on.
And someday, you’ll be thankful that they happened.
- Friend: I don't understand how someone can be so perfect!
- Me: You're friends with me, aren't you?
Miscommunication
Maybe that’s something I never considered. It’s a plausible answer to everything that’s been on my mind lately. I realize that I’m not the best at expressing my emotions, my thoughts, or anything really to others. It’s never been my strong suit, probably because I’ve never really had to do it. In this manner, I’ve also been terrible at reading the feelings of others without being told exactly what they’re feeling. Looking back, I think that was the problem. I misinterpreted you, leading you to have misinterpreted me, and we were both left feeling like the other did us wrong. I guess I have myself to blame, but the realization makes it easier to cope with the unfortunate situation that is now our reality. I’ll probably never get to actually see you again, much less talk to you, but I guess I’m okay with it now. I mean, I don’t even think you’d care as much as I do, but I spent a shit load of time basking in the disappointment of the conversation I had hoped would bring us back together. That’s alright. There’s nothing I can really do about it, except learn to live with it. And I have, and I’m totally fine with everything the way it is now. I don’t even know if this realization has any truth to it from your end, but I’ll probably never get the chance to find out, and I’m not going to depend on you to figure out what happened. We’ve all grown apart, and it’s about time I came to terms with the only thing holding me back from forgetting.
I’m glad I had a friend like you back in the day. Thanks for the memories.
“The hardest part about walking away from someone is when you realize that no matter how slowly you go, that someone will never run after you.”
—(via thoughtsonfire)
- Brave tomorrow
- TICKETS TO SPIDER-MAN ON MONDAY NIGHT OH MY GOD
- We spent like 50 bucks on three tickets for Spider-Man because I waited two years and I’m not missing out on AVX. I’m not.
- VIDCON NEXT YEAR MIGHT BE A THING LALALALA. YouTube in a building, it’ll be magical.
- I’ve been up since 6, working hard, and am too tired to be this happy.
I’m a sucker for good storytelling. I’ve always loved hearing/reading/watching stories, but the way it’s told makes it so much better. Expressing thoughts, messages, ideas, and events in a creative, brave, and outrageous way that works makes a story even better. That’s how I get hooked.
Yesterday, I felt like watching a movie I remember having watched as a kid a lot. I couldn’t find the DVD, so I decided to watch it online. How long was it? 3 hours and 41 minutes. Indian movies, man. At least it was good, I sat through almost approximately 4 hours of wonderful storytelling.
Last night was not fun, but I’m okay now. It was a relapse of the worst from the past two years of my life, but that’s alright. I know where I was, I know where I’m going, and I’ve picked myself up to make sure I get as far away from the former as possible. There are better things out there, and I’m on my way to find earn them.
I don’t know how to deal with this mess inside my head. I was in a really good place, and I was proud of myself for it, too. Then comes a dream, and an uncanny coincidence, which was a little too much to handle for a girl who cares about the smallest details. I want to talk about it, and I think I even want answers. I’m just afraid to say anything.
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
I’ve kind of bid adieu to any emotions I’ve had for the past while, and it feels like I’m reaching unfamiliar ground. A bump in the road, that’s all it is.
Now how do I get over it?
